TTC vent (again)

I could just scream!! AUGH!!

Have I mentioned before how much I hate my cycle? Because I do.

I made the effort this month to have "perfect" timing.....I actually O'd on a weekend (finally!!) and Dh was actually willing (most likely because I didn't tell him I was Oing...works better when he thinks I actually want to do it). So we had perfect timing...actually got a high reading on FF....one of the few months that happens.

So what happens now?

I'm only 4 DPO and I have spotting....ALREADY!!!! WTH???

I'm also irritable, tired, have slight cramping, and my bbs are sensitve. Mind you...it may sound like positive things....like *air quote* "good signs", but it's not. I feel this way most of the time before af arrives. Lovely PMS. I could just scream or throw something...or both!!

I just don't get it. How did my body get so....broken?? I'm just so frustrated with all this.

I think I may call my OB next week and ask if I can go on clomid again....just clomid. I can't afford to do the progesterone test and pro. supplement, but if it's just clomid I can since that isn't too bad...and I've got birthday money to use.

Making a baby is NOT supposed to be this friggin hard.