Infertility stinks :(

I haven't talked much about TTC in quite some time. A few months back I decided to give it up to God. You know, quite honestly, as much as I want to, I know I can't do it. I think it's just one of those phrases we tend to say when we are so hurt by all the frustration and pain of it. I had a 2 month break after clomid (break meaning no charting, no timing BD, but still obsessively thinking about it). This is my 3rd month since stopping clomid, 8th month since HSG/lap, and 25th month all together. Honestly, after this long, is there any way I can just stop??? I think not. I'm back to partially charting again (I mean just temping around O time or just when I feel like it) and I'm now taking 1200mg of Vitex...hoping that it lengthens my luteal phase. My first month off of clomid I still had the affects and had a 13 day LP!! Last month was my normal 9 day LP (with spotting starting at 8DPO) and now this month af is on her way.....10 day LP with spotting starting at 8DPO again.
I think what's so darn frustrating is the fact that I KNOW what's wrong with my body. I also KNOW what can help me. I KNOW that clomid fixes ALL my issues (I had a 13 day LP with NO spotting while on clomid). Yet I cannot take it. Darn finances. At this rate I feel like I'm never going to have another baby. I can hear my clock ticking away too as my 31st birthday quickly approaches. *sigh*

So today (or whenever af decides to show up...she thinks is ultimately hilarious to make me think she's coming and then stalls) my temp dropped and more spotting....af should be here. Now starts month 26. I will also be starting my second bottle of Vitex shortly.

Anyone care to send me money for the "Clomid Cause"? LOL I hate insurances. Apparently preventing pregnancies is an important medical issue to them, but actually adding to your family and giving life is not. What a messed up world we live in!

At any rate, I'm still praying for that miracle to happen. Just thought I'd update since it's been a while I've mentioned TTC.