I think the good Lord is trying to tell me something this week. He is smacking me on the head, telling me to "Stop this nonsense of trying to control something you aren't meant to. Trust in Me." Jeremiah 29:11 also comes to mind.
Everything is just pointing to this. Last week's Bible study on Thursday we talked about how we always try to "help" God on things, when He doesn't need any help. It's our way of trying to control His plans for us, to maniupulate it to go our way. That got my attention. Then the whole situation with the progesteorne and af this weekend, making me realize I can't do this on my own. Yesterday I was working on this week's Bible study chapters and the section I was reading was Genesis 20, about Abraham and Sarah having a child well after childbearing years. It was such a hard lesson for me to go study, and at the end of the study on that chapter, the author (Beth Moore) asked if you (the reader) had a difficult time with this study? Maybe your womb is empty even after praying and praying for it to open. But Praise God....because miracles do happen. I just bawled and bawled! Who am I to question God's plans for me? It may seem impossible right now, like I will never have another child, but nothing, NOTHING is impossible for God. He opened Sarah's womb and she had a child! Imagine what He could do for me if I let Him? If I trust in Him?
Then today at church, it was like God specifically wrote that sermon just for me. It was about why we have bad days, trials, and tribulations, and how to react when they happen. I just cried in church! Even the songs we sang related to my situation.
After Sunday School many of the women of my church came and gave me hugs and words of support and encouragement to trust in God, let Him handle it. The outpouring of support and love is amazing...I'm so happy to have found this church.
Everything leads up to it.....God is smacking me on the head and saying hello!!! Wake up already! Trust in Me, let Me take care of this. I think when I finally give it all up to Him, He will be smacking His forehead saying "Finally!"
I'm amazed at how He speaks to me, when I take the time to listen, I can hear and know what He is telling me. It's up to me now to listen and obey. Thank you Lord.
2 comments:
Hugs for you Brenda!! I know what you mean about His plan. We've been TTC for 22 months. Most of that time we have been lost due to a split with the "owners" of the church. Recently we may have found a possibility for a home. There is something special about being in God's house. It is a place where we should truly be humbled. In that spirit, I am working on giving it up to Him. Our selfish natures fight us every step of the way. It's not easy, but trust Him!! Lots of hugs for you!!
Big (((hugs))) to you Brenda! I know that it's tough, but God does have a plan & is working it for your best. And eventually He is going to give you peace with all of this. You have been through so much, but He is teaching you through it - I can tell just by your post. I wish you had gotten your BFP this time, but will keep praying for you. I'm confident that it will happen for you soon. (((hugs)))
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