Happy New Year everyone!
We are just staying at home. Ryan is in bed already, Bob is playing a computer game, and I'm on the net and will attempt to write more of my novel. Nothing too exciting going on!
On the note of my novel--my best friend Julie came over last night and I showed her my novel. It was so awesome to talk to her about it. I bounced off ideas to her and we brainstormed. I was starting to feel a little down about the novel for a while. I have been reading this book about how to write a novel, and I realized I'm doing all the wrong things! LOL But with talking with Julie last night I felt more psyched up about it again!! And she gave me some great ideas! Thanks so much Jules!
I highly doubt I'll even make it to midnight tonight. I've got a sore throat and had little sleep last night, so I'm already tired and it's not even 9pm yet. oh well..it's just another day.
Happy New Year. May you find joy, happiness, and may all your wishes come true in 2006!
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Thursday, December 29, 2005
13 years ago...
Every New Years I get this way. I start thinking back to a time when I wish I had been smarter, more outgoing. Gone with my heart I guess.
13 years ago today is when I got together with M.E. and realized how much in love with him I was. He was only in town for a few days during the holiday break, so I knew I'd only see him a few times. It wasn't supposed to be like that...it wasn't supposed to be a romantic fling. When he called me up that day to let me know he was in town it was just 2 old friends who hadn't seen each other in years, getting together to chat. We went to the mall that night, mainly as just somewhere to go. We walked around holding hands, not really thinking anything of it...it seemed so natural to me. While there, he bought me a beautiful necklace. We walked around, chatted, had some fun. Then we left. On the bus ride home (neither of us had a car), I remember looking out the window and feeling all those emotions come over me. I realized at that exact moment I was still in love with him. Problem: he was only in town for a few days, and he had a girlfriend back home. I knew I shouldn't be feeling that way, so I tried to put it out of my mind. He knew me so well, he asked me what was up. I don't think I told him. At least, I don't remember telling him. I'm rather transparent though so I'm sure he knew. At any rate, we went back to my house (my parents house actually, since we were still in high school at the time) and we watched tv and talked for a while. When he left that night, I remember standing at the door, saying goodbye to him, and then him kissing me. It honestly was the single most romantic, wonderful, beautiful, best kiss I have ever experienced, even to this day. I was floating on air! I couldn't sleep that night I was so overjoyed!
The problem: it changed things for us. The next day we talked some more and held hands, etc. That next night we went to a movie. I suppose you can consider that our first and only real "date". It was sweet, and I even remember the movie we saw. Afterwards we went to a restaurant for some food, and when he went home he gave me another good night kiss. The next day (New Year's Eve) I had called him and since he couldn't come over and I couldn't go to his place (my parents were really strict about him..I don't think they liked him at all), we decided to meet at Little League Park for a while. I tell ya, I must have been desperate to see him because it was cold outside! And to stand outside for an hour and a half with him! Buurrr!! But it was so worth it. He had told me that he felt guilty for kissing me and said it was a mistake and it would never happen again. I agreed. It was just bad timing...a long distance relationship wouldn't work. Though we could never deny our feelings....it eventually came out. After all, we both had wanted this for over 3 years. It was pretty cold out, and he put his hands in my pockets to warm up my hands. He kept getting closer and closer to me until eventually, we were so close, we were almost touching. He leaned down and kissed me. We made out for quite some time. I must confess, if I hadn't been a virgin at the time, and we had someplace to go, I would have made love to him. My feelings were that strong at that time. But that didn't happen of course. After making out, we had to say goodbye. He was leaving to go back to Virginia the next day. It was so hard to leave, but we managed to say good bye and I left. I didn't look back. I wish I had. At the time I knew it would be too difficult to leave if I had looked back and saw him watching me; I probably wouldn't have left. But I wish now that I had.
I receieved a letter from him about 2 months later, saying that all is well with his girlfriend. He never told her about me, that he thinks of me often, but life goes on.
So every New Year's I think of him, I wonder what he's doing now, if he's married, has kids. Where he lives. Does he think of me during this time of year? Does he even remember me?
I highly doubt he will ever contact me. Last time we talked was not good. It was about a year later and it was when I was in my freshman year of college. He wanted to settle down with me and have a serious relationship, and it was at the time where I wanted to explore the possibilities. I didn't want to be tied down at that point. So I said no to a relationship, and the last time I saw him, I foolishly didn't treat him very nice. For that I will always regret. I think I was playing on the defensive because I didn't want those feelings to return. Though now I regret that and wish I could tell him so. Not that it matters much now, I'm married and have children. But it would be nice to know that he doesn't hate me.
Cheers, to you M.E. (from your Adnerb :) )
13 years ago today is when I got together with M.E. and realized how much in love with him I was. He was only in town for a few days during the holiday break, so I knew I'd only see him a few times. It wasn't supposed to be like that...it wasn't supposed to be a romantic fling. When he called me up that day to let me know he was in town it was just 2 old friends who hadn't seen each other in years, getting together to chat. We went to the mall that night, mainly as just somewhere to go. We walked around holding hands, not really thinking anything of it...it seemed so natural to me. While there, he bought me a beautiful necklace. We walked around, chatted, had some fun. Then we left. On the bus ride home (neither of us had a car), I remember looking out the window and feeling all those emotions come over me. I realized at that exact moment I was still in love with him. Problem: he was only in town for a few days, and he had a girlfriend back home. I knew I shouldn't be feeling that way, so I tried to put it out of my mind. He knew me so well, he asked me what was up. I don't think I told him. At least, I don't remember telling him. I'm rather transparent though so I'm sure he knew. At any rate, we went back to my house (my parents house actually, since we were still in high school at the time) and we watched tv and talked for a while. When he left that night, I remember standing at the door, saying goodbye to him, and then him kissing me. It honestly was the single most romantic, wonderful, beautiful, best kiss I have ever experienced, even to this day. I was floating on air! I couldn't sleep that night I was so overjoyed!
The problem: it changed things for us. The next day we talked some more and held hands, etc. That next night we went to a movie. I suppose you can consider that our first and only real "date". It was sweet, and I even remember the movie we saw. Afterwards we went to a restaurant for some food, and when he went home he gave me another good night kiss. The next day (New Year's Eve) I had called him and since he couldn't come over and I couldn't go to his place (my parents were really strict about him..I don't think they liked him at all), we decided to meet at Little League Park for a while. I tell ya, I must have been desperate to see him because it was cold outside! And to stand outside for an hour and a half with him! Buurrr!! But it was so worth it. He had told me that he felt guilty for kissing me and said it was a mistake and it would never happen again. I agreed. It was just bad timing...a long distance relationship wouldn't work. Though we could never deny our feelings....it eventually came out. After all, we both had wanted this for over 3 years. It was pretty cold out, and he put his hands in my pockets to warm up my hands. He kept getting closer and closer to me until eventually, we were so close, we were almost touching. He leaned down and kissed me. We made out for quite some time. I must confess, if I hadn't been a virgin at the time, and we had someplace to go, I would have made love to him. My feelings were that strong at that time. But that didn't happen of course. After making out, we had to say goodbye. He was leaving to go back to Virginia the next day. It was so hard to leave, but we managed to say good bye and I left. I didn't look back. I wish I had. At the time I knew it would be too difficult to leave if I had looked back and saw him watching me; I probably wouldn't have left. But I wish now that I had.
I receieved a letter from him about 2 months later, saying that all is well with his girlfriend. He never told her about me, that he thinks of me often, but life goes on.
So every New Year's I think of him, I wonder what he's doing now, if he's married, has kids. Where he lives. Does he think of me during this time of year? Does he even remember me?
I highly doubt he will ever contact me. Last time we talked was not good. It was about a year later and it was when I was in my freshman year of college. He wanted to settle down with me and have a serious relationship, and it was at the time where I wanted to explore the possibilities. I didn't want to be tied down at that point. So I said no to a relationship, and the last time I saw him, I foolishly didn't treat him very nice. For that I will always regret. I think I was playing on the defensive because I didn't want those feelings to return. Though now I regret that and wish I could tell him so. Not that it matters much now, I'm married and have children. But it would be nice to know that he doesn't hate me.
Cheers, to you M.E. (from your Adnerb :) )
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Alright, I'll tell you! My fantasy man is:
Ok, I'll tell you who my novel is about. Though I've changed the names so it's not really about him. It is but it isn't. LOL
I've had a huge infatuation/crush on him since I was 14. Though I don't think about him nearly as much, I still have an infatuation with him. My heart rate still increases when I see a pic of him, and just about melt.
His name you may recognize from my 100 things about me list. His name: Michael Lardie, formerly from Great White, now with Night Ranger.
Grant it, he's much older than me (almost 17 years, which isn't much now that I'm in my 30's!), but I've always found him extremely sexy for an older man. I think what appeals to me about him is not just his looks (the long blonde hair and the smile that makes me melt *sigh*), but his talents. He is the most talented man I know (so to speak, since I don't really "know" him). He plays piano, guitar, harmonica, percussion, etc, etc. There is a list of about 10 instraments he plays, plus vocals. He also produces, engineers, and writes music. Talk about being multi-talented! I think that's what makes him so sexy to me. He amazes me with all his talents and his accomplishments. What I wouldn't do to meet him someday! Someday, I really do hope to meet him.
I could go and and on about Michael and how much I like him! But I won't. I'll leave that for the novel! But here is a picture taken from his website, along with another photo I found on the net.
This is a pic of the whole band Great White. Michael Lardie is second from the right. (what a gorgeous pic!). BTW- just a sidenote...I also used to have a thing for Jack Russell, pictured at center of the band. He's the lead singer and he just has a voice that can bring you to your knees!
This is one of my favorite pics of Michael. Isn't he just so gorgeous?! I couldn't find a decent pic of his famous smile, but it's much better in person anyway.
Ok. So there it is. I have revealed who my fantasy man is. The one I dare to think about, the one that has inspired me to write a novel, the one who makes my heart flutter when I see his picture. Maybe someday.
I've had a huge infatuation/crush on him since I was 14. Though I don't think about him nearly as much, I still have an infatuation with him. My heart rate still increases when I see a pic of him, and just about melt.
His name you may recognize from my 100 things about me list. His name: Michael Lardie, formerly from Great White, now with Night Ranger.
Grant it, he's much older than me (almost 17 years, which isn't much now that I'm in my 30's!), but I've always found him extremely sexy for an older man. I think what appeals to me about him is not just his looks (the long blonde hair and the smile that makes me melt *sigh*), but his talents. He is the most talented man I know (so to speak, since I don't really "know" him). He plays piano, guitar, harmonica, percussion, etc, etc. There is a list of about 10 instraments he plays, plus vocals. He also produces, engineers, and writes music. Talk about being multi-talented! I think that's what makes him so sexy to me. He amazes me with all his talents and his accomplishments. What I wouldn't do to meet him someday! Someday, I really do hope to meet him.
I could go and and on about Michael and how much I like him! But I won't. I'll leave that for the novel! But here is a picture taken from his website, along with another photo I found on the net.
This is a pic of the whole band Great White. Michael Lardie is second from the right. (what a gorgeous pic!). BTW- just a sidenote...I also used to have a thing for Jack Russell, pictured at center of the band. He's the lead singer and he just has a voice that can bring you to your knees!
This is one of my favorite pics of Michael. Isn't he just so gorgeous?! I couldn't find a decent pic of his famous smile, but it's much better in person anyway.
Ok. So there it is. I have revealed who my fantasy man is. The one I dare to think about, the one that has inspired me to write a novel, the one who makes my heart flutter when I see his picture. Maybe someday.
Ryan after a bath
Ok...just a few more pics, I promise!! LOL I just had to share these because he's so darn cute! He got this robe from my mom. It came with slippers too but he doesn't like to wear those.
Christmas Day
Here are some pics from Christmas Day when we opened gifts from Santa.
This was my favorite gift this year...a Green Bay Packers sweatshirt from Ryan.
And of course, pics of playing with the toys!
This was my favorite gift this year...a Green Bay Packers sweatshirt from Ryan.
And of course, pics of playing with the toys!
Family Christmas
Thought I'd share some pics from Christmas. Here is our family: Bob, Ryan, and me. It was taken at my parents house just before we opened gifts.
Ryan's favorite gift this year was a Home Depot tool set. This was still Christmas Eve at my parents.
Ryan's favorite gift this year was a Home Depot tool set. This was still Christmas Eve at my parents.
Monday, December 26, 2005
Novel
I've been working deligently on my novel! I am on page 6...which actually doesn't sound like all that much, but considering everything that's quite a lot for me! The hardest part was getting started. I hate trying to find a starting point and doing all the introductions. But I think it's coming along nicely. I'm still debating on putting it on a blog or not. I may even reveal who it's really about! LOL Maybe. But in the novel I changed the names to protect the innocent!
I'm really excited to be working on it. It's taking most of my free time!
I'm really excited to be working on it. It's taking most of my free time!
After Christmas
I had a wonderful Christmas. Very busy, but wonderful all the same.
We did the usual on Christmas eve. After Ryan's nap we went to my parents house where we opened up gifts. It took us 3 1/2 hours this year! Every year my mom says she's cutting back on presents and every year there seems to be more than the previous year! Of course, Ryan was spoiled. He got so much stuff the poor thing doesn't know what to play with first! His favorite gifts include a Home Depot tool set he got from my brother, a remote control car he got from my other brother, and a slinkie that wasn't actually a Christmas gift he got from my brother.
After we opened gifts we went to my parents friend's house for their annual Christmas party. Lots of good food there! We didn't stay long though because it was way past Ryan's bedtime, and he was getting tired. Time to head home!
Christmas morning Ryan woke up and saw that Santa had came. We woke daddy up and then opened gifts from Santa and mommy and daddy. My favorite gift was a sweatshirt that Ryan gave me. It's a Green Bay Packers sweatshirt and it's nice and warm. Bob's favorite gift this year was a book I bought him. It's a book about cooking by Alton Brown (host of the show Good Eats on Food Network). It was a good Christmas this year. Even Cally got some nice things...her favorite being a toy mouse that she's been playing with since she got it!
Christmas afternoon we went back to my parents house for dinner. We had a nice rib roast. YUM! We also watched the Packers lose, but oh well...guess every Christmas can't be perfect!
It was a good year.
We did the usual on Christmas eve. After Ryan's nap we went to my parents house where we opened up gifts. It took us 3 1/2 hours this year! Every year my mom says she's cutting back on presents and every year there seems to be more than the previous year! Of course, Ryan was spoiled. He got so much stuff the poor thing doesn't know what to play with first! His favorite gifts include a Home Depot tool set he got from my brother, a remote control car he got from my other brother, and a slinkie that wasn't actually a Christmas gift he got from my brother.
After we opened gifts we went to my parents friend's house for their annual Christmas party. Lots of good food there! We didn't stay long though because it was way past Ryan's bedtime, and he was getting tired. Time to head home!
Christmas morning Ryan woke up and saw that Santa had came. We woke daddy up and then opened gifts from Santa and mommy and daddy. My favorite gift was a sweatshirt that Ryan gave me. It's a Green Bay Packers sweatshirt and it's nice and warm. Bob's favorite gift this year was a book I bought him. It's a book about cooking by Alton Brown (host of the show Good Eats on Food Network). It was a good Christmas this year. Even Cally got some nice things...her favorite being a toy mouse that she's been playing with since she got it!
Christmas afternoon we went back to my parents house for dinner. We had a nice rib roast. YUM! We also watched the Packers lose, but oh well...guess every Christmas can't be perfect!
It was a good year.
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Merry Christmas!
Jesus Christ is born!! Let us take a moment today to reflect on the birth and life of our Savior Jesus, and what He has done for us.
Praise the Lord!!!!!!!!
Happy Birthday Jesus!
Merry Christmas to all of my friends and family.
Praise the Lord!!!!!!!!
Happy Birthday Jesus!
Merry Christmas to all of my friends and family.
Friday, December 23, 2005
All right, all right!
Since I have gotten several requests (and a few fictional stories) for what actually happened at the Christmas party, I guess I'd be best off disclosing that info. LOL It really isn't that bad....your stories sound much worse! LOL
First off, we all ate and then we played a game. The game required us to write on a piece of paper 4 things that are noteworthy, 1 being true of what we really have done, and 3 made up things. Then Samira would read them in numbered order and we would have to guess which one is the real one for each person. It sounds complicated but really it wasn't. The hardest part was coming up with noteworthy things!! Mine were all rather boring since I don't have too many noteworthy things in my life....but I couldn't use getting married or having Ryan as my true noteworthy since everyone knows that! While we were playing this game a few people were looking at others papers and seeing what their answers are. Very funny!
After the game, we had an ornament exchange. It's a pretty fun way of doing it. We put all the wrapped ornaments on a table and everyone picks a number. We go according to numbers to pick a present. The first person gets an ornament, then the second person can either take the first ornament or take a wrapped one. It goes like that for everyone...until the last person that goes gets a choice of all the ornaments or the last wrapped one. It makes a night of fun and laughter! Anyway, the part I was referring to in the previous post.....as I had unwrapped my ornament and went back to the table, I put the wrapping paper on the table but didn't realize there was a lit candle there. I felt this wave of heat and realized the paper was on fire! Before anyone could do anything about it, the flame skyrocketed about 2 feet! It was quite frightening! We managed to put it out rather quickly before any damage occurred or anything. So now I'm famous for setting the church on fire! Keep in mind this was my ladies Bible study group. One lady said our Christmas parties are famous....this one we lied, cheated, set the church on fire, and ran naked after bears. (that's a long story I won't get into..someone's truth). It was amusing for a church Christmas party.
So that's what really happened. It was tons of fun and I'm famous at these parties. Last year at the same Christmas party was when my tire blew out. This year I set the church on fire. I tell ya, you can't take me anywhere!! LOL
First off, we all ate and then we played a game. The game required us to write on a piece of paper 4 things that are noteworthy, 1 being true of what we really have done, and 3 made up things. Then Samira would read them in numbered order and we would have to guess which one is the real one for each person. It sounds complicated but really it wasn't. The hardest part was coming up with noteworthy things!! Mine were all rather boring since I don't have too many noteworthy things in my life....but I couldn't use getting married or having Ryan as my true noteworthy since everyone knows that! While we were playing this game a few people were looking at others papers and seeing what their answers are. Very funny!
After the game, we had an ornament exchange. It's a pretty fun way of doing it. We put all the wrapped ornaments on a table and everyone picks a number. We go according to numbers to pick a present. The first person gets an ornament, then the second person can either take the first ornament or take a wrapped one. It goes like that for everyone...until the last person that goes gets a choice of all the ornaments or the last wrapped one. It makes a night of fun and laughter! Anyway, the part I was referring to in the previous post.....as I had unwrapped my ornament and went back to the table, I put the wrapping paper on the table but didn't realize there was a lit candle there. I felt this wave of heat and realized the paper was on fire! Before anyone could do anything about it, the flame skyrocketed about 2 feet! It was quite frightening! We managed to put it out rather quickly before any damage occurred or anything. So now I'm famous for setting the church on fire! Keep in mind this was my ladies Bible study group. One lady said our Christmas parties are famous....this one we lied, cheated, set the church on fire, and ran naked after bears. (that's a long story I won't get into..someone's truth). It was amusing for a church Christmas party.
So that's what really happened. It was tons of fun and I'm famous at these parties. Last year at the same Christmas party was when my tire blew out. This year I set the church on fire. I tell ya, you can't take me anywhere!! LOL
Thursday, December 22, 2005
I've been thinking....
an awful lot lately about my "fantasy Man". I shouldn't even be disclosing this! He just suddenly popped back into my mind recently. I hadn't thought of him since his birthday back in Sept. I call him my fantasy because that what it is. I would never in my life even meet this man, much less have any sort of relationship with him. I have had a crush/infatuation with this man for years...well, since I was 14. Though now that I'm married, have children, and have turned my life to God, I don't think about him much anymore. But once in a while he pops up in my mind. I have even started a novel years and years ago about this man and my "supposed" relationship with him. I dug it out yesterday and read it. I'm even thinking about picking it up again and writing some more. Maybe make another blog to write my novel in.
My problem though is I'm not sure I want to make it public. I love people reading my work, but because this deals directly with a real person (as opposed to fictional), I'm not sure I want people thinking I'm a deranged, crazy, obsessed fan making up stories about him! I'm not too sure I want him to come across it and think I'm totally nuts!! What if I have his personality all wrong in the novel and he would never say or act a certain way? I know I'm totally overanalzing it. Like this man would ever even come across my blog! That's actually pretty funny.
At any rate, it's been on my mind lately. I looked up his website (duh, why didn't I think of that before?) and saw some recent pics of him, and boy, I shouldn't have done that! I think I about had a coronary! Still as gorgeous as ever. Oh well. At least this has my mind of off ttc for the moment! ha ha
Maybe you'll see another blog from me soon. I need to think on it! But either way, I'm really considering getting back into my novel-writing again. I didn't realize how much I miss writing until I started this blog.
My problem though is I'm not sure I want to make it public. I love people reading my work, but because this deals directly with a real person (as opposed to fictional), I'm not sure I want people thinking I'm a deranged, crazy, obsessed fan making up stories about him! I'm not too sure I want him to come across it and think I'm totally nuts!! What if I have his personality all wrong in the novel and he would never say or act a certain way? I know I'm totally overanalzing it. Like this man would ever even come across my blog! That's actually pretty funny.
At any rate, it's been on my mind lately. I looked up his website (duh, why didn't I think of that before?) and saw some recent pics of him, and boy, I shouldn't have done that! I think I about had a coronary! Still as gorgeous as ever. Oh well. At least this has my mind of off ttc for the moment! ha ha
Maybe you'll see another blog from me soon. I need to think on it! But either way, I'm really considering getting back into my novel-writing again. I didn't realize how much I miss writing until I started this blog.
Bad dream?
Have you ever had one of those mornings where you woke up after a full night of sleep, but still feel tired and unrested? That's how I feel this morning...like I didn't get enough sleep, even though I did. I think it's because of a dream I had last night. I only remember bits and pieces of it, but I know it wasn't a very good dream. I remember feeling very upset in the dream.
I hate having bad dreams...they bother me the rest of the day and make me feel so uneasy. Hope to be rid of this feeling by this evening. Who knows, maybe tonight I can get back to the dream and turn it into a good one!
I hate having bad dreams...they bother me the rest of the day and make me feel so uneasy. Hope to be rid of this feeling by this evening. Who knows, maybe tonight I can get back to the dream and turn it into a good one!
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Christmas Party
I went to my Christmas party with my Bible study group last night. I have to say, it was the most fun I have had in a long time! I laughed so hard I was crying! It was great to get together with a bunch of women and just talk and laugh!
I almost didn't make it until halfway through. Bob ended up leaving work late, about 15 minutes before I was supposed to leave to get there! So in a bind, I asked my neighbor if she could watch Ryan for a half hour or so until Bob came home. Thankfully she was available. So I was able to drop Ryan off and I made it to the party on time!
I don't want to disclose what happened at the party that made is so funny, but let's just say I will be famous at the church from now on! LOL (in a good way). Anyway, we talked, ate, played a little game, had an ornament exchange, and sang Christmas hymns. It was loads of fun!
I almost didn't make it until halfway through. Bob ended up leaving work late, about 15 minutes before I was supposed to leave to get there! So in a bind, I asked my neighbor if she could watch Ryan for a half hour or so until Bob came home. Thankfully she was available. So I was able to drop Ryan off and I made it to the party on time!
I don't want to disclose what happened at the party that made is so funny, but let's just say I will be famous at the church from now on! LOL (in a good way). Anyway, we talked, ate, played a little game, had an ornament exchange, and sang Christmas hymns. It was loads of fun!
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Verses of Hope
Here is a list of Bible verses that give me hope. These are some of my favorite Scripture. I read them when I am sad or anxious during this long ttc journey. I hope they can help someone else too. They are incredibly comforting....knowing that God is there. These are taken from the NIV version.
Psalm 23 "The Lord is my shephard, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and staff, they comfort me. Your prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."
Psalm 40:1 "I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry."
Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God."
Psalm 56:22 "Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall."
John 14:1 "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me."
John 16:20-22 "I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy."
John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
Romans 5:3-4 "We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perserverance; perserverance, character; and character, hope."
Philippins 4:13 "I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
James 4:2-3 "You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with the wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."
1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
Psalm 23 "The Lord is my shephard, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and staff, they comfort me. Your prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."
Psalm 40:1 "I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry."
Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God."
Psalm 56:22 "Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall."
John 14:1 "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me."
John 16:20-22 "I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy."
John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
Romans 5:3-4 "We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perserverance; perserverance, character; and character, hope."
Philippins 4:13 "I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
James 4:2-3 "You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with the wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."
1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
Monday, December 19, 2005
Ryan with Santa!
We went to see Santa this weekend at the mall. I wasn't too sure if Ryan wanted to or not. Last year we didn't get a pic with Santa because Ryan was too scared..he freaked out just seeing him! This year he understands quite a bit more and wanted to see him. It was so cute...Ryan is such a talker. Normally you can't get him to be quiet for 2 seconds, but when he was sitting on Santa's lap he wouldn't say a word! I had to coax him to tell Santa what he wanted...cars and trucks! LOL It was adorable. Sorry the quality is low....I don't have a scanner so I had to take a picture of the picture!
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Here is my little guy in a Christmas spirit!
To get myself out of this funk I'm in, I decided to post some pics of my "miracle" boy, as I'm calling him now. He truly is my pride and joy, and I am ever so lucky to have him!
Here he is while we were putting up the Christmas decorations. This wreath goes outside, but he decided to put it around himself first!
Every year I take a pic of Ryan in a Santa hat. Here is this years!
Here he is while we were putting up the Christmas decorations. This wreath goes outside, but he decided to put it around himself first!
Every year I take a pic of Ryan in a Santa hat. Here is this years!
I didn't get my Christmas wish
No BFP for me this year...again. I remember last year on Christmas I cried because I expected to be pg by then, and I remember seeing on FF all the posts saying "I got my Christmas BFP!". I was so upset about it. Then I thought, there's no way I could go through a full year without a BFP...I know I'll have one by next Christmas. Well, here it is, 11 days away from Christmas and af is here. So much for my Christmas BFP. I'm getting so discouraged and frustrated with this whole process. Why does getting pg, something that's supposed to be so natural, so hard?! This was my 3rd cycle since the lap and HSG, and my second cycle on clomid. At least the clomid is working...my body seems to like it. But why can't I get a BFP already? What on earth is wrong with my body that it isn't doing what it should be doing?
I am starting month 21 now. Coming up on 2 yrs soon. Never thought in my wildest dreams I would be ttc for this long. I'm just so frustrated.
I am starting month 21 now. Coming up on 2 yrs soon. Never thought in my wildest dreams I would be ttc for this long. I'm just so frustrated.
Monday, December 12, 2005
O Christmas Tree
Here is my Christmas tree. It's not a good picture because of the lighting in my house I can't get a good picture with the lights on the Christmas tree. We have to have a small tree because Cally will climb the bigger trees. She's already toppled this one over once! Good thing we only have one cat I guess!
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Ryan, my cutie!
I have a cute story about Ryan. Bob has been working long hours this week and hasn't spent much time with either me or Ryan. Ryan has been missing his daddy. So when Ryan woke up this morning, Bob was awake too and asked me to bring Ryan into bed with us for some family cuddling time. So Bob and Ryan and cuddled together and I'm way on the other side of the bed. I figured I'd let Bob have some time with Ryan so I was going to leave. I said "I guess I'm not part of the family so I'm going to leave." Ryan sat straight up, took my hand, and looked my in the eyes with his cute little puppy dog eyes and said "Yes you're part of the family! Don't leave mommy!" It was just too cute for words! Needless to say I stayed! He sure knows how to pull the cute factor and tug at my heart strings!!
One of those days
Ever have one of those days where you'd rather just stay in bed, or wish you could hide with the covers over your head? That's the kind of day I'm having. Just an icky day. Nothing horrible or bad has happened; I'm just tired and irritable today, which of course, is making me feel depressed. Because I'm 3 days away from when af is due, and irritability is a symptom of af for me. A clear indication I'm not pg. I don't even need to test (though I probably will anyway because I'm a glutton for punishment) since I just "know" I'm not. Though I guess I can't always rely on my instincts, since I just "knew" I was pg last month even though I wasn't. *sigh* I hate ttc sometimes. It's so darn frustrating and irritating, and time consuming, and I really wish I could do the one thing that women were meant to do. Sometimes I feel like my body is failing me....it can't seem to get pg on it's own, and apparently, even with the help of clomid.
I'm just in a "pity me" mood today! I need some chocolate and some sleep!
I'm just in a "pity me" mood today! I need some chocolate and some sleep!
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Christmas banquet
I went to Immunuel Baptist's Women's Christmas Banquet last night. It was the most amazing experience!! I left feeling completely in awe and so much in love with Christ!
It started off with dinner and desserts. I sat at a table with my dear friend Lisa (the one that battled breast cancer this year) and her mother, sister, and cousins. We started with desserts (since our table was one of the last ones to get food, we got to pick desserts first!). YUM! There were so many good desserts: mini cream puffs, mini euclairs, tons of different types of cookies, mini cheesecakes, pette fours, etc. So good! Then for dinner we had salad, dinner rolls, 5 different types of pastas, 3 different types of sauces, chicken, and shrimp. It was so good! I actually ate everything on my plate, plus desserts!!
After the meal, they had a fashion show, put on by clothes from Dress Barn and modeled by our own ladies from IBC. It was such a hoot to see some of our ladies modeling like professionals! And the handbags worn by all the models were made by our own Samira! Very nice handywork!
After the fashion show the Christian music group Myrrh preformed. They were absolutely beautiful, incredible, awe-inspiring, and inspirational! I absolutely loved their testimony..which actually gave me chills! Praise the Lord for what He has done in their lives! I was just completely in awe hearing Heather sing so beautifully, hearing that just 5 years ago the doctors didn't believe she would ever talk again much less sing! She reminds me a lot of a mix of Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood. And Bill is just amazing on the violin. I have never seen playing like that before! My favorite song I think is All is Well, an incredible song sung with the Wheaton College Gospel Choir as back up. Very inspirational. I had to purchase a CD since I loved it so much!
I came home and couldn't stop talking about the evening! It was so much fun, and it really renewed my faith in Jesus! God is so good!! Praise Christ, for He is our Savior! Oh how much I love Him!
You should check out the music of Myrrh, or at least their testimony! I garentee it will give you chills!
It started off with dinner and desserts. I sat at a table with my dear friend Lisa (the one that battled breast cancer this year) and her mother, sister, and cousins. We started with desserts (since our table was one of the last ones to get food, we got to pick desserts first!). YUM! There were so many good desserts: mini cream puffs, mini euclairs, tons of different types of cookies, mini cheesecakes, pette fours, etc. So good! Then for dinner we had salad, dinner rolls, 5 different types of pastas, 3 different types of sauces, chicken, and shrimp. It was so good! I actually ate everything on my plate, plus desserts!!
After the meal, they had a fashion show, put on by clothes from Dress Barn and modeled by our own ladies from IBC. It was such a hoot to see some of our ladies modeling like professionals! And the handbags worn by all the models were made by our own Samira! Very nice handywork!
After the fashion show the Christian music group Myrrh preformed. They were absolutely beautiful, incredible, awe-inspiring, and inspirational! I absolutely loved their testimony..which actually gave me chills! Praise the Lord for what He has done in their lives! I was just completely in awe hearing Heather sing so beautifully, hearing that just 5 years ago the doctors didn't believe she would ever talk again much less sing! She reminds me a lot of a mix of Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood. And Bill is just amazing on the violin. I have never seen playing like that before! My favorite song I think is All is Well, an incredible song sung with the Wheaton College Gospel Choir as back up. Very inspirational. I had to purchase a CD since I loved it so much!
I came home and couldn't stop talking about the evening! It was so much fun, and it really renewed my faith in Jesus! God is so good!! Praise Christ, for He is our Savior! Oh how much I love Him!
You should check out the music of Myrrh, or at least their testimony! I garentee it will give you chills!
Monday, December 05, 2005
The Christmas Story: What Christmas is really about
Luke 1:26-38
In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin's name was Mary. The angel went to her and said "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you." Mary was greatly toubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end." "How will this be," Mary asked the angel, "since I am a virgin?" The angel answered, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God." "I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said." Then the angel left her.
Praise to our Savior!
In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin's name was Mary. The angel went to her and said "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you." Mary was greatly toubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end." "How will this be," Mary asked the angel, "since I am a virgin?" The angel answered, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God." "I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said." Then the angel left her.
Praise to our Savior!
Odds and ends
I O'd a few days ago and am now almost half way done with the 2ww! I have my progesterone test tomorrow and get the results next week Monday. It will be a long week!
I have been so so cold! It is freezing here in the cheese state! I hate winter! I'm already looking forward to Spring when it gets warmer again. It's way too cold for me. Ryan wanted to play outside yesterday in the newly freshly fallen 7 inches that we got. I was out there with him for 10 minutes freezing my tooshie off until I finally said I'm going in! Then I couldn't warm up all day!! I should have asked for an electric mattress pad or electric blanket for Christmas. Too late now since my mom is already done shopping.
Speaking of Christmas shopping...I'm close to half done. I'm getting there!
I will post a pic of my Christmas tree as soon as I get the pic off the camera!
I have been so so cold! It is freezing here in the cheese state! I hate winter! I'm already looking forward to Spring when it gets warmer again. It's way too cold for me. Ryan wanted to play outside yesterday in the newly freshly fallen 7 inches that we got. I was out there with him for 10 minutes freezing my tooshie off until I finally said I'm going in! Then I couldn't warm up all day!! I should have asked for an electric mattress pad or electric blanket for Christmas. Too late now since my mom is already done shopping.
Speaking of Christmas shopping...I'm close to half done. I'm getting there!
I will post a pic of my Christmas tree as soon as I get the pic off the camera!
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