Thursday, December 22, 2005

I've been thinking....

an awful lot lately about my "fantasy Man". I shouldn't even be disclosing this! He just suddenly popped back into my mind recently. I hadn't thought of him since his birthday back in Sept. I call him my fantasy because that what it is. I would never in my life even meet this man, much less have any sort of relationship with him. I have had a crush/infatuation with this man for years...well, since I was 14. Though now that I'm married, have children, and have turned my life to God, I don't think about him much anymore. But once in a while he pops up in my mind. I have even started a novel years and years ago about this man and my "supposed" relationship with him. I dug it out yesterday and read it. I'm even thinking about picking it up again and writing some more. Maybe make another blog to write my novel in.
My problem though is I'm not sure I want to make it public. I love people reading my work, but because this deals directly with a real person (as opposed to fictional), I'm not sure I want people thinking I'm a deranged, crazy, obsessed fan making up stories about him! I'm not too sure I want him to come across it and think I'm totally nuts!! What if I have his personality all wrong in the novel and he would never say or act a certain way? I know I'm totally overanalzing it. Like this man would ever even come across my blog! That's actually pretty funny.
At any rate, it's been on my mind lately. I looked up his website (duh, why didn't I think of that before?) and saw some recent pics of him, and boy, I shouldn't have done that! I think I about had a coronary! Still as gorgeous as ever. Oh well. At least this has my mind of off ttc for the moment! ha ha

Maybe you'll see another blog from me soon. I need to think on it! But either way, I'm really considering getting back into my novel-writing again. I didn't realize how much I miss writing until I started this blog.

2 comments:

Cindy said...

I think getting back to writing would be a great idea! If you want to blog it and don't want anyone you know to read it, you could always make a secret online identity (create a new blogger profile with a fake name). But I wanna read it! :)

Anonymous said...

I agree with Cindy... you could always give him a different name. That way your secret would be safe (although I'm curious now as to who it is! LOL)