Jealousy

So I finally did my Bible study for the week.....it's due tomorrow! This week's lesson is about jealousy. Oh boy do I need a lesson on that! Not that I'm overly jealous mind you....in fact, I've gotten better the last several months. Every time I used to hear about a pg woman or hear anything about pregnancy...I would get so upset and jealous, thinking it's not fair..it should be me, I deserve it too! But the last several months I've been learning to lean more on God in this aspect. I've pretty much let my jealousy go, for the most part. Of course, we are only human, so sometimes some slip out a bit, but mostly I'm rather happy for them; because I know that in God's time I will also have a pregnancy announcement and talk about my pg.

This lesson had me thinking back to last year. It was just a few months after I had my m/c and was desperately trying again. My good friend (whom I saw several times a week) announced to me that she was pg. They were sort of trying, but nothing too serious. I was just devastated. I was so completely jealous I was seeing green!! I thought, "how could you get pg while I sit here and suffer after a m/c? Can't you tell I'm suffering? You already have 2 kids!" Boy was I horrible! She actually told me I had to get over myself because she's happy about her pg and will not disguise it in front of me. Of course, later on she apologized for saying those things, but I look back on it now and I think I should have apologized to her too, for being so jealous. I had no reason to be. If she was such a good friend as I thought her to be, I needn't be jealous of her. After all, as the saying goes, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but just imagine what their water bill is! I suppose you need to be careful of who and what you are jealous of....like the phrase be careful what you wish for. After all, not only does she have 3 children, but she is also fighting breast cancer. Is her side really the better side now? Thank the Lord Jesus that she is fighting a good battle and winning, but all I'm going through is nothing compared to her.

It was a good read and good lesson for me this week. Definitely something to work on.