Sunday, April 08, 2007

Inquiring Minds want to know....

A few days ago I offered to answer any question anyone was dying to know about me. Thank you to the few that responded! So here are the answers to your questions!

Cindy asked: If you could be an animal, what kind would you be?

I would be a cat. I think cats have a great life....sleeping most of the day, not a care in the world, bathe themselves wherever the mood strikes them, play a bit. Plus, I would get 9 lives. :)

and rudeness asked: I had a post back last year about "My Only Regret" and of course it was about a boy... you responded that you understood what I meant.Who was he? And why do you feel like "he got away?"

I honestly think that everyone has a "one that got away." Though I am happily married, I do feel that I have a love that got away, that I also do regret letting go of. I often wonder what he's doing now, if he's married, has a family, if he thinks of me, if he thinks I'm the one that got away for him.
His name is Mark, and I met him my freshman year in high school. He not only was cute, but funny. He used to make me laugh so hard I would have tears streaking down my cheeks. We started off as friends. We were in a few classes together (I remember being in Science class with him and competing with him to get the highest grade in the class. Which, btw, I won 3 out of the 4 times, but I digress) and we also sat at the same table for lunch with a whole bunch of other kids I got to know very well. (most of the girls).
By Jan. of my freshman year I was starting to get a crush on him, but didn't know how or what to do. I was terribly shy back in high school. Scary I know. You'd never know it now. It came time for the winter dance and I was hoping he would ask me. Instead he asked one of my friends and she said yes. They ended up dating for over a year.
During that year I got to know both of them very well, and I knew I was crushing on him, and everyone else knew it too. But I'm not that kinda girl that does that. So I remained friends and denied any "feelings" I may have had.
After they broke up, he never asked me out...which was fine because I would have had to decline since it was still fresh for my friend.
A few years passed and though we remained friends, we drifted apart slightly. Then during my junior year he moved away to Virginia. I thought I'd never see him again and I just moved on.
My senior year during Christmas break I got a phone call from him. He was in town for break for a few days and wanted to get together. I was shocked and happy, not to mention I wanted a distraction since my first boyfriend ever had just dumped me 2 weeks prior.
Anyway, we spent 3 absolutely wonderful days together. The first day we spent together, I immediately got those feelings back for him. Unfortunately he was "with" someone back inVirginia. There never really was a "right" time for us.
After we came back from the mall that first night, he dropped me off at my house and ended up giving me the most beautiful, wonderful kiss I ever had. To this day it still is the best kiss I've ever had.
Anyway, without going into details, it was a great 3 days and though we both agreed we loved each other, we also agreed it wouldn't work out as he had a girlfriend and lived in Virginia, and I wasn't fond of long distance relationships. So on New Years Eve we had to say goodbye and I wasn't sure if I'd ever see him again.
A year later when I was in college, he surprised me and came up to my college for a day. We had a long talk and he told me moved back to Wisconsin and that he wanted to settle down and get married and have a family. He was tired of dating and just wanted to settle down. He told me he loved me. Yikes. That freaked me out. I was only 18 years old, on my own for the first time, and was so not ready to settle down. I told him that I just wanted to remain friends. He understood and we left it at that. I never saw or heard from him again.
That is what I regret. I regret saying no to him....I wish I had given him a chance. We never really had a chance to be together, and when we finally did I opted to throw it away instead. I often wonder what would have happened if I had said yes. I have a spot in my heart for him...not sure if it's because he's my first love or because I have a fantasy of would it would have been like, but I have always felt since that he's the one that got away. I have no idea where he is or what he's doing now. I don't even know what state he's in. But I do know that I don't want to actively go out looking for him. I love my husband and family and life. But there's always that little part of me though that will always love him.

So sorry that was a longwinded story! But I just wanted to give you the full story since you asked. LOL

Keep the questions coming!

3 comments:

Cindy said...

A cat's life sounds pretty good to me.

Anonymous said...

I didn't find that long winded at all!! Great post, and thanks for sharing that story.

I too had one that I thought got away. I've only recently come to realize that it's for the best. Only took nearly 10 years. LOL

and rudeness said...

Yeah, cat life is heaven.

And thank so much for answering my question. It wasnt going to be a short answer! The one that got away... novels could be written! :)

I havent seen Dave since 1999 and last week I actually met up with his sister and had lunch!! She said Dave asked for my number and was going to call me! Crazy huh? (However, just so you know he is now gay... and I am happily married. Of course he would be gay though... its the story of my life!!)