In answer.....

To Shawna's question in a comment the other day.....she asked if we were TTC again.

Answer: no. Not yet anyway.

I'm actually on the fence about this one. Part of me is very much still going through the baby fever thing.....Kyle is growing up so fast already...rolling over and eating baby food and soon will be sitting and mobile. I have so much love for that little boy now that I barely let Bob do anything anymore with his care! I just love spending time with him. I've always wanted 4 or 5 kids.....so part of me is thinking 2 down, more to go! LOL Plus, I'm 32. I'm not getting any younger. I already have complications during pregnancy.....and it just increases the older you get. It took 2+ years to get pg with Kyle.....I can only imagine how long it might take this time (being as my cycle is already mirroring what it was before I got pg and I'm even on bcp).

However, part of me is just freaked at the thought of gettting pg again. My pregnancies as I just mentioned are tough....I tend to have complications. Plus, I remember being soooooo tired throughout.....it was hard with a 3 yr old....I can only imagine how hard it would be with a 5 yr old and a 1 yr old!! Yikes. Just thinking of all the work....sleepless nights again......not to mention I just got over PPD......to have to go through all that again......
Our insurance has also changed....they now cover only 80% of everything...which would mean we'd owe much more than last time. We just can't afford that at this time.

At this time I'm currently on bcp...mainly to stabelize my hormones. I'm considering going off from them as I'm not comfortable being on them....yet at the same time I'm freaked out over going off of them for fear of an "accident". I really would like to "not try but not prevent" but I don't know.

I need to pray about it and figure out what I want to do. I do have some time.

So to answer the question....currently we are not ttc. :)

So glad I'm already married.....

So Amy and I went out on Tuesday to look at bridesmaid dresses. As I mentioned previously, she is getting married next year...Aug 2008. Since she is moving in less than two weeks to MN, we got together to shop for dresses and have some lunch. It was a good time. I tried on a whole bunch of dresses and she showed me the dress she is most likely getting.

She is doing something a bit different....all of us girls are wearing the same color, but not the same style. Because I'm very petite and thin (though after that Olive Garden visit I don't think I will be anymore!) and some of her other bridesmaids are.....not, she has opted to go with whatever style of dress looks good on us, as long as it's the same color...which is black. (black in an Aug wedding I think is suicide....but what can I say?)

So anyway, after spending about 2-3 hours trying on dresses and all, we finally found and agreed on a bridesmaid dress for me! It's very beautiful...here is shows blue, but of course, it will be black, with a green ribbon around the waist for accent color. Hopefully I won't be pregnant by next year at this time LOL But if I am, there are a few maternity dresses that are nice too. LOL

She also decided to tell me that I will need to find a babysitter for my kids as they will not be invited to the wedding...it is an "adult only" wedding.

Now I know she's not married yet and doesn't have children, so she's not into the whole family thing yet. But honestly, I was a little hurt when she told me that, as I was really looking forward to having my kids with me. My kids, my family are my life. They are everything to me and I don't mind being with them at all. Also, having an "adult" night is really not a big deal to me. I don't really enjoy going out drinking or dancing or any of that anymore. I honestly feel so over that these days....as she calls me, I'm a "soccor mom". And you know, I love it. My kids are my life. So anyway, I will have to figure out what I'm going to do. I refuse to pay babysitters for my children or have anyone I don't know watch them. Honestly, the only people I completely trust with my children are my parents. And they will be going to the wedding. So I have a year to figure out what to do with my will-be-then almost 6 yr old and 18 month old (and who knows if I'll have another one???).

Anyway, other than that, it was a great day. We had lunch together and talked about old times and her move coming up and wedding stuff. We may be on totally different stages of our lives right now, but when we do get together it's like we never left high school....we can talk until the cows come home! (and even after).

I'm so glad I don't have to deal with all that wedding stuff again. Phew!

Life Goes On

Have you ever lost your best friend? I suppose not really "lose" them, as in you are not friends anymore, but as in your best friend has moved away?

One of my best friends is moving away at the end of the month. She will be moving to St. Paul, MN. (about 5 hours away).

Amy and I have been friends since she was 4 yrs old and I was 7. Technically I guess we were friends before that as my mom used to work with her dad, and we lived about a block from each other--not even a block...you didn't have to cross the street...just go around the corner and down a few houses.

We became very close as we got older. She has been like a sister to me. I think once we were in late elementary/early middle school is when we became "best friends." We did everything together. If we didn't see each other during the day or after school, then we would call each other and talk for literally hours on the phone. We made up the soap opera that I mention once in a while (Dynasty II). We spent several years coming up with plots and characters and scripts and so much more for that soap. It is forever burned in our memories and hearts.

In high school we discovered boys together. We would talk to them, talk about them, obsess about them. My senior year in high school was the first and only year we ever went to the same school together. I remember meeting at each other's lockers in between classes, decorating lockers for birthdays, just having a blast with each other.

As I went on to college and she remained in high school, we drifted apart a bit. I was into all things college and she was into all things high school....leaving a bit of a rift between us. We never stopped being friends...just drifted apart for a while.

When I got married she was my maid of honor. She will be getting married next year and I will be a bridesmaid (she was thinking maid of honor but didn't want to hurt other peoples feelings).

Of course, now that our lives are in different stages, we don't connect quite as much anymore. We see each other maybe once every few months. I'm married, have two children, a house, stay at home, into all things family. She is engaged, living with her fiancee, working 2-3 jobs, a very active social life. Our lives are in different places. But each time we do get together, it's like no time as ever passed since we were in school together. We find our nitch together and reminance about old times, talk about new times, the future, etc.

We've always got along well. We've had a few fights here and there, but have always made up and continued on.

I have so many memories of us laughing hysterically, crying when her grandma passed away, smiling on birthdays and celebrations, and celebrating every New Years together.

I went to her going away party in May. It's so hard to believe she is leaving in just a few weeks. But she won't be too far away...and hopefully, if I can financally pull it off, I'd like to take the train out to see her soon.

Thank God for cell phones...so we can keep in touch!!

This pic is from her tropical themed going away party. I'm on the right...the shorter of the two. LOL

I'll miss you Aimes. Love ya girl!

Land of the Living

My goodness....has it really been a month?? Where does the time go?

I'm back out of hiding! hehe Not that I've been hiding...just been incredibly busy.

What have I been up to you ask? It would take forever to post everything I've been doing lately....but here's a brief synopsis:

The main event in the last several weeks......my car. Technically Bob's car. It go kaput.
Bob's car died on his way into work (this happened on a Wed...don't remember which one now). He took it to an unmentionable car repair shop (the they-screw-you-over-so-you-are-out-tons-of-money shop) where they "supposedly" (air quote) fixed the problem (something to do with the gasket and the fuel tank....I don't know). for more money than I'm comfortable with--taking up most of our savings mind you. All was good....until the next day when he was on his way home from work. It died.....again. This time in the middle of rush hour traffic. (lucky him). Had it towed to the same place (nearest location) where they said it was the engine this time and it would cost thousands to repair it. To add to that, we also cannot prove that it was the fault of the first repair....so we are out lots of money...and a car since we junked it (can't afford to get that fixed and not worth it for how old the car is).

So living off of one car for a week was so not fun. I literally was a stay-at-home mom for a while.....the only place I could go was to walk to the park that's a block away.
Though I was ok with it if that's what had to be done. I don't want to go into big debt again if we don't have to.

Then my dad saved us. (love you daddy!!). He offered to sell us his car for dirt cheap and with no money up front. We just pay him what we can afford every month. woo hoo!! Boy did I get a deal too.... a 2001 Buick Century with only 34,000 miles on it. My dad takes very good care of his cars, and it's nice and big for both car seats plus one more if need be.
So I will be driving the 2001 and Bob will now be driving my old car (a 1989 Oldsmobile Cierra). Glad that mess is over with.

Other news:

Summer is here in full force and the kids and I have been spending tons of time outside. We go to the park, play in the yard, go for walks, and today we took out the pool. I had Kyle try it but he didn't like it so much. Maybe next year for him.

Kyle is now 5 months old. My how time flies. He is huge too!! I can't believe how chubby he is! I've never had a chubby baby....it's so funny seeing his chubby cheeks and thick thighs....he's my little chipmunk. We started rice cereal in the beginning of June and did all the cereals...are now doing sweet potatoes and he just loves them. He smiles and coos all the time now. And he's such a momma's boy. :) He definitely prefers me over daddy....5 minutes of daddy and he's crying. LOL

Ryan's little girlfriend moved away. It was hard on him at first but he's adjusting. He seems to understand that she's moved...not so much the divorce part though. We went up to see them once so far...the kids had such a blast playing...and it was great to have some mommy time with my friend. This moving thing is not just hard on Ryan....I really miss them too. Many times I sit there and wish they were still around.

No big vacation this summer (due to finances) but we do plan on going up to Green Bay for a weekend next month to visit a friend of mine. We will also be going to State Fair too in Aug.

I was planning on going down to Peoria IL for a concert (my Great White is back together and celebrating their 25th anniversary! They have a new album out July 17th and are on tour this summer) on July 28th but had to scrap that idea due to the car issues and finances. Money is tight right now so no money for entertainment right now. Which makes me very upset as I haven't seen my favorite band in almost 10 years now. Speaking of favorite bands.....didn't make it to Summerfest this year either.....some great bands there too.... Def Leppard, Bon Jovi, Weird Al, Collective Soul....etc.

Went to a birthday party last month for my friends Ernie and Renee's two children (3 yr old Emma and 1 yr old Tori). It was great seeing them again.....Ernie was Bob's best man in our wedding and Bob was his best man. We also got married 3 months apart. (You happy I finally gave you a shout out Ern?) Ernie was a bit upset that I not only didn't tell him I have a blog (didn't realize he was into the blog world) but that I never mentioned him. Some people and their pride!!!! (love ya anyway Ern) Anyway, the party was nice and I hope to meet up with them again soon.

Before all the crap happened with the car....we got a new patio door and a new back door and screen door. Our screen door was getting really bad...the screen kept falling out of it. LOL Time to get it replaced.

I know there's so much more but that's all I have time for right now. I only have so much time to get on the net these days.....I can usually only do one thing a day! It takes me most of my time just to check email. But it should slow down soon.....Kyle is finally in a set schedule now (at least for bedtime and feedings....naptimes are still a bit scattered....but I can predict about when he'll be tired) and both boys are in bed by 8pm most nights now. Ahh...the freedom!! So what do I do? I'm usually in bed by 9 or 9:30pm. LOL Kyle still gets up once during the night....and for some reason it still tuckers me out. Plus in 2 months Ryan starts school...that's a whole 'nother post though. LOL I can't believe my baby will be in preschool!!!! Yikes!!!

Anyway, glad I finally got you up to date. I'm still around...still breathing. Just so darn busy. I knew having a second child would make me busier....but this is ridiculous! LOl Or maybe I just had too much free time before?

BTW- Congrats to Cindy -- she's finally pregnant after 3 years of ttc!!! She is in my Yahoo group for women that have been trying to conceive since May 2004. CONGRATS GIRL!! Sending sticky vibes!